You know you're a stoner if:

(dedicated to Tayler)

You know you're a stoner if:

As I'm deciding if my noticeably greasy hair looks better up or hidden by a beanie, "getting ready" for a night out consists mostly on preparing my on-the-go smoke kit.
Pinch hitter disguised as a cigarette. Check.
Just enough portion to match a couple bowls. Check. 
Mint container to cleverly contain that portion. Check.
Lighter of an eagle's head behind an American flag. Check.
All with their appropriate places for emergency stashing/dropping. 
I don't consider the heels I have on for tonight's outfit. I also trade my department store lacy top and crushed velvet blazer for a long sleeve t-shirt that reads "it's all good in the hood" around a picture of E.T. in a hoodie (one of my favorites).
There are a few reasons for tonight's wardrobe exchange. 
1. Stoners don't care much about other stoners' attire. It's all about the green.
2. You can't run in heels.
3. It's a really funny shirt.


You know you're a stoner when your routine for getting ready for the night is dictated by the circumstances that arise with smoking activities.